Realizations
by Moo Moo plus Cow
Summary: Kirino disregards Kyousuke's warning about staying away and returns home early, for better or for worse.


I groaned softly as dad finally left, the door rattling in its frame as it was slammed in anger. It was doubtful that he would calm down anytime soon, especially after what I had just done. Admitting to playing little sister _eroge_ on my little sisters laptop, in my little sisters room?

If I was my father, I would be upset too.

What the hell was I thinking?

The sharp, throbbing pain on my face tells me I wasn't thinking at all.

So much for my normal life...

Slowly, I forced myself to my feet, staggering into the table. I had to steady myself on it or I would have surely fallen over. Gingerly, and with great care, I prodded my cheek to assess the damage. I couldn't stop the sharp hiss that escaped my lips, fiery pain lancing through my skull. Sighing in irritation, I shuffled towards the fridge and pulled open the freezer. Inside was my new best friend.

Pressing the icepack to my face, I made a discontent sound. Uncomfortable as it was, it had to be done. I could already feel the swelling starting to form and I'd rather minimize it as much as possible.

Again, what the hell was I thinking?

Opening the fridge this time, I reach for the carton of barley tea. I quickly get a cup and pour myself a glass, maneuvering the icepack so I can knock back the drink in one gulp. Feeling a little better but not by much, I return my favourite drink to its rightful place and head towards the door. Mum can deal with the glass. I'm not in such a charitable mood right now. The same goes for the piles of photo albums, sporting achievements and report cards littering the coffee table.

It's not like they are mine, anyway.

Without meaning too, I pick up the discarded _Stardust Witch Meruru_ DVD case. It isn't until I'm half way up the staircase that I realise it's in my hand.

I give up trying to understand my motives. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Entering my room, I place the DVD case that contained _Let's Fall in Love with Little Sister!_ on my desk before flopping onto my bed unceremoniously, unintentionally jolting my tender jaw as one arm and leg dangle from the edge of the mattress lazily. I grunt in pain but otherwise do nothing, satisfied with staring at the ceiling. Of course, I should have known my mind wouldn't let me rest so easily.

The day's events kept replaying over and over in my head. Coming home and finding the house chillingly silent, the atmosphere so tense that you could use the old cliché of being able to slice it with a knife. Kirino and dad facing off in the lounge like cowboys from the wild west – the former clearly distressed while the latter was stonily intense in his anger. Chasing my bitchy – and incredibly fast! – sister down the street. Discussing with her what happened with dad and what she should do now that he knew about her hobby.

...deciding to defend her from dad, no matter the cost... even though she hates my guts.

I should get my head examined like mum suggested a few weeks ago. There is seriously something wrong with me. Who the hell would tell their father that they enjoyed playing little sister _eroge_, just to keep their real little sister from getting in trouble?

Most people would have trouble doing such a thing for someone they liked, let alone someone they hated. And I _did_ hate her, right? She treated me like trash and if I were run over by a truck tomorrow, she wouldn't even care.

I'd even go as far as saying she wouldn't even turn up for the funeral.

That was just the nature of our relationship.

...right?

I'm so confused. My actions don't really match what I'm thinking, do they?

I wish I had never found that stupid DVD case under the shoe drawer. Life was much simpler back then.

But sometimes... I'm glad, I suppose.

I cluck my tongue in annoyance, shifting the icepack slightly. My face was fast becoming numb, yet the pain persisted. I have to admit, dad had an impressive right arm on him. Too bad I had to find that out the hard way.

A sudden creak from my door draws my attention, a very familiar face peering in at me from the crack. I blink stupidly, my mouth opening in reflex but no words form. I stared, surprised at my unexpected visitor. Hadn't I told her to stay away for an hour, at least? It hasn't even been half that time.

The look on her face...

...it's different from the usual disdain I normally encounter. If I had to identify it, I'd say she looked concerned. Worried.

That couldn't be right. Dad must have loosened a few screws with that punch.

"A-Are..." she began, mumbling the rest so I couldn't hear properly.

"What was that?"

"Are you... okay?"

Okay, at that point I knew something was terribly wrong. Maybe I was asleep. It wouldn't be the first time I dreamt about my sister – only then, she had black hair, woke me up for school and wanted me to take off my shirt so she could do my laundry. My real sister had brown hair, wouldn't care if I missed school for a month and would kill herself before touching my dirty clothes.

I readied my reply but paused at the last moment, at last noticing how moist her eyes looked. She crept forward slowly, shutting the door behind her and leaning against the wood as if to steady herself. I couldn't believe it, but it looked as if she were really upset.

And for once, it wasn't because of something I had done to annoy her.

I sat up, removing the icepack and resting it in my lap. "I'm fine."

"Dad hit you."

The surprise must have shown on my face at her blunt assessment.

"I... saw everything."

Oh.

She followed me home, didn't she? What a brat. I really should have expected such a thing to occur. She hardly ever listens to what I say, after all.

"Yeah, he hit me."

Her eyes widen and I can't help but notice how bright her eyes are. There was no denying it – my sister really was a beautiful girl. Everything about her was perfect. Her large eyes, her sleek hair, her flawless face. She had a body that nearly any girl her age – and a few older! – would kill for. She was smart, good at sports, and all-around popular. Looking at her made me feel inferior – it has done for quite some time now. I was the older brother, the older sibling, yet it felt like she beat me in every way.

Even our parents thought so.

Their favouritism had stopped hurting quite some time ago, but from time to time...

...I really don't feel like thinking about this anymore. It's pathetic and rather depressing.

"How can you act like nothing happened?"

I frown at her sudden anger, her dainty hands clenched tightly by her side. She was closer now, no longer leaning against the door. I watched her anger drain away as she got a better look at my face, her eyes moving away to stare at the floor. I must be bruising already. I wonder if I have a black eye?

"What's done is done," I told her. "It was a small price to pay, right? Aren't you happy you get to keep your things?"

She was shaking now, trembling where she stood. Sufficiently alarmed, I made to get up when her voice stopped me cold. She sounded broken, desperate, pleading. I had never heard her sound this way in my life, not even when she asked me if liking _eroge_ was weird, abnormal.

"W-Why did you go so far?"

"What?"

I tilted my head, perplexed. She raised her head to look at me, her moist eyes close to overflowing. I felt my heart beat painfully in my chest at the sight. It felt much worse than being struck down by my father. My breath caught, throat feeling unusually tight – I couldn't speak, even if I tried.

"I've never seen you so mad," she said, the expression on her face twisted between confused, sad and angry. She was a mess of emotions – so unsure in my eyes, so unlike her usual self. "And it wasn't even for yourself. You defended my hobby with everything you had, even though you really didn't have too..."

I had tried to cut in, embarrassed – but all that issued from my mouth was a strangled, haggard choke.

"You even lowered yourself in father's eyes, just to protect my image..." she murmured weakly. "Why? Why did you do that?"

Shocked as I was, I hadn't even seen her move. She now loomed over me, close enough to touch. Her breathing was erratic, her tight top stretching as she inhaled and exhaled rapidly. Biting my lip, I gained some semblance of control before I answered.

"I'm your brother, right?" I attempted to explain. "And I promised I'd take care of things."

What else did she want? This conversation was exhausting – I already felt twice my age. I don't think I could take too many more surprises.

"Why are you acting like a big brother now?" she yelled all of a sudden. I tried to back off as she surged forward, grabbing two fistfuls of my shirt. Suddenly, she was in my face, our noses almost bumping as she ranted. I couldn't help but think that she smelled pleasant; something that instantly horrified me – what the hell am I thinking? "For years, you didn't give a damn about me! You left me all alone! Why are you doing this now?"

...wait, what?

"W-What did you just say?" I spluttered, shocked.

The pain in my chest had returned, ten-fold. Once again, I had been totally blindsided. A few tears had escaped, trickling down her flushed cheeks as she glared at me with an intensity that honestly scared the shit out of me. However, when my worlds finally hit home, I could almost _see_ the blood drain from her face. The horror that had immediately followed startled me. She quickly let go, stumbling back as if I had struck her.

As plain as day, I could tell she had never wanted me to hear that.

I could do nothing but stare at her, my ability to form coherent sentences all but evaporated.

"I... I didn't..."

She tried to explain herself, yet she continued to stumble.

"That didn't mean... it was just..."

At any other time, I would have thought the frustrated look that graced her face was cute. Immense shock tended to change my priorities. Gaining some control over myself, I spoke without thought, letting instinct guide me.

"I hurt you bad, didn't I?"

Her beautiful green eyes expanded so much I had briefly wondered if it were at all possible for them to literally roll out of their sockets. I heard her breath catch in her throat before continuing, unwilling to stop. I had accidentally uncovered something massive and there was no way in hell that I'd let go now. Even if it turned out bad, I could not shy away.

"I haven't been the best of brothers, huh?" she hadn't been the best of sisters, either – but I wouldn't bring that up. "I should have been there for you."

If I hadn't known better, I swear she stopped breathing all together for several moments.

It was time to finish it. Have I been lying to myself all this time? I don't know.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... that I'm sorry." I let out a deep sigh, as if a weight had been lifted. "I'm truly sorry for being such a poor bro-"

Oof!

Soft warmth assaulted me, thin arms wrapped around my neck almost painfully tight. I could do nothing as the trembling, sobbing mass that was my little sister clung to me as if her life depended on my very presence. I had fallen back and was now sprawled across my bed, Kirino's light body moulded against me – her head perfectly tucked under my chin. I tensed, unsure of what I should be doing. My sister had always avoided touching me at all, if possible – the few times I attempted physical contact had resulted in my hand being slapped, hard – and yet now, she had thrown herself on top of me without hesitation.

I shuddered as her hot, moist breath panted against my neck with every sob – her tears already soaked the shoulder of my shirt, the material plastered against my skin. Of their own accord, my arms moved to encircle her slim waist, loosely hugging my distraught sister. It was then that I noticed she was straddling me as if we were lovers, smooth legs positioned on each side of my pelvis.

...this must be the Twilight Zone. I've definitely gone insane. She had to wear short-shorts today, didn't she? This wasn't good. Why was I even _thinking_this crap! I should never have allowed her to con me into playing those games. It had definitely corrupted me.

Focus, Kyousuke. Focus!

"You _baka_!" she whispered brokenly, arms tightening further. I nearly passed out as I felt her lips press against my collarbone. "_Baka_! _Baka_! Apologising like you m-mean it! You-You jerk! How dare you-"

"I'm sorry."

She started to tremble harder.

"S-Stop it!"

"Kirino, please-"

"No more," she pleaded, her knees digging into my sides. Despite myself, my thoughts lingered on her body more than what is appropriate. "J-Just shut up. No more talking, please."

My eyes drifted to the door, suddenly worried that mum or dad might enter while we were in this position. I quickly concluded that mum would knock and wait for a reply first, with what happened last time she barged in unannounced. She thought she had caught me looking at porn – which wasn't far off the mark, when I thought about it. Only, it wasn't my porn and definitely not run-of-the-mill stuff. As for dad... his anger would keep him away for the time being.

Minutes ticked by, the only sound coming from Kirino. She had stopped crying, loud sniffles the only noise breaking the awkward silence. I remain still, out of my depth.

In spite of the confusion, it was... nice, just laying there with my sister.

I never thought I'd ever think such a thing, but there you go. A lot had changed before I had even realised it.

Before I knew it, my eyes became heavy, my breathing evening out. I tried to fight it but it won out in the end, my eyes closing fully. The day's events had really taken their toll on me. All I wanted to do was sleep.

"Kirino?"

No answer. The light snore that followed told me everything I had needed to know.

I should have woken her, told her to leave... but I was much too comfortable, too tired to care. Blissfully, I followed her example.

OoOoO

**A message from the cow: **I actually wrote this before I started my other story, but dropped it after growing agitated at the first-person point of view I used. After rereading it, I found that there really wasn't anything wrong with it and decided to post it after cleaning it up a bit. The fandom needs as many stories as it can get, after all. I got the idea for this scenario after coming across a picture of Kyousuke and his father arguing while Kirino listened in from the next room. From there, it kind of took off with a life of its own.

You could say Kirino is quite out of character. I could try justify it, but... really, it would probably just sound like an excuse. I like to think of it like this: after the confrontation with her father, her emotions are all over the place. What armour she had protecting herself after that was shattered when she witnessed her brother fighting on her behalf and then his words to her afterward. She couldn't keep it bottled in anymore.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading it.


End file.
